Ignore the man behind the curtain (NSFW Image for point)

from some post on how burlesque can save the world (and stop rape and misogyny too I assume)

The sex-positive rallying cry, at its most basic, is that our culture is profoundly sex-negative.  The evidence?  Abstinence education, the slut shaming of women, and overly religious values.  If you look at only these things, it becomes easy to prove and condemn the “sex negative” attitude of our culture, and outline the harms it does: increased amounts of unwanted pregnancy, the spread of STDs, the crushing of young women’s reputation and self-esteem.  But you know what else causes those things?  Rape and sexual harassment.  Mandatory intercourse.  Unsafe intercourse.  Pornography and the sexualization of young girls.  The fashion and beauty industeries.  Yet somehow, these are all ignored so that “sex-positives” can cry about abstinence education, despite the fact that STDs cannot be directly caused by ignorance–they are caused by intercourse and especially intercourse without a condom (which is demanded of most females).  The idea that education will solve this problems is laughable, just as the idea that education will stop men from raping is.  Men want to rape and men like dangerous fucks.

While related, that was a tangent on a single problem with the “sex-positive” approach.  Lets look at the evidence in our culture and see how “sex negative” most things are.  The simple act of looking at a magazine rack, however, will prove the situation is more complex than it seems.  Maxim.  Playboy.  Cosmo.  Celebrity magazines.  What do all of these focus on?  Looking at and talking about women men would like to fuck, becoming the women men want to fuck, how to fuck (for women), how to get a woman to fuck (for men), who’s fucking who, what to wear when you fuck, when to fuck, how often to fuck to not be a prude but not be a slut (for women), and so on and so forth.  You could not honestly tell me that sexuality is taboo in America.  It would be just as ridiculous as saying rape is taboo, that racist jokes are taboo, or that drinking is taboo.  Whenever someone says that our culture is anti-sex, I laugh.  In their face.

Is it publically condemned?  Of course it is, but again, only in certain ways.  I remember D.A.R.E. and the other stupid shit attempting to keep us out of drugs.   Yet, somehow, people do drugs anyway.  Tobacco and alcohol, along with illegal drugs, are widely consumed and glamorized.   To think that official programs advocating abstinence makes our culture sex-negative is just as ridiculous as saying the US is anti-alcohol and anti-drug.   As always, it’s only anti-badthings in the case that the nonwhite, nonrich, nonmen use them for their own benefit and pleasure.  Its ok for a woman to have sex, so long as its for a man and under his conditions, whether those are marriage, kinks, or anal.  Just as with drugs, sex is a billion dollar industry with a lobby.  The only difference is that the advertising for the sex industry (porn) is also one of its products, making it self-perpetuating.

Maintaining the belief that America is sex-negative, however, is vital for “sex-positives” to have a point.  It obscures the real power and the real system, under which hetero sex is mandatory, enjoyable or not; women’s submission is mandatory, willing or not.   The politicians who condemn prostitution use and abuse escorts; the anti-gay crusaders have sex with men; the Church which condemns lust while molesting children and protecting their rapists.  Does that sound “anti-sex” or “prudish” to you?  To believe the words that come out of men’s mouths-that they are against “sexual liberation” as its taken place- is ridiculously fucking stupid.  Our culture is not anti-sex: it’s pro-fucking, pro-rape, and pro-misogyny.  “Feminist” porn is still status quo, lesbian porn is male-centered, and lesbian BDSM is even more so.   Our culture is only “prudish” about sex outside of how males conceive it. That is, without domination and submission, without hate, without intercourse or penetration, with emotion and mutual desire.

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7 responses to “Ignore the man behind the curtain (NSFW Image for point)

  1. Yes. It’s such a lie that conservatives are anti-sex isn’t it? I mean if you replace “sex” with its intended and working meaning, “mandatory piv,” its easy to see that the religious nuts are about as sex-poz as they come. Bristol palin being a prime example. You aren’t allowed to get any pleasure from it, ladies, bc that’s dirty, but you still have to be pleasing to your man. Piv is the perfect solution to the conservatives alleged problem with sex. Not surprisingly, its the libs answer to everything too.

    Mandatory piv is the law of the land. And sex-neg is an invention, absolutely. It invisiblizes how women are used by both the left and the right, and obscures the fact that women’s victimization looks the same, no matter who is doing the victimizing. Namely, men.

  2. “Our culture is only “prudish” about sex outside of how males conceive it. That is, without domination and submission, without hate, without intercourse or penetration, with emotion and mutual desire.”

    Oh my goddess, thank you! This is so true. I am so sick of people saying we live in a culture where sex and sexuality are a taboo. Turn on the T.V, read a magazine, go online, READ THE FUCKING STATISTICS PEOPLE. The only taboo is NOT wanting to be FUCKED by men and the system. If you do, you’re repressed, you’re a prude, you don’t understand, you’re privileged or (my favourite, someone said this to me the other night) – YOU’RE JUST AS BAD AS THE MEN WHO HAVE RAPED, TORTURED AND MURDERED MILLIONS.

    “Sex positivity” is a fucking joke and the antithesis to actual feminism. Instead of helping us progress, they’re bringing us back, hindering us and slipping poison in our drinks (which they would argue is OKAY COS IT’S CONSENUAL AND I CHOSE TO YA KNOW) – I’m writing an entry on how bullshit the whole schtick is, and I think I’ll be quoting this.

    You’re a fucking genius, Ms. Citrus.

  3. How could anyone with half a brain in America call this a sex negative place? It’s PIV evangelism 24/7, it’s male porn true religion, it’s Al Gore cheating on his wife, and John Edwards dissing his wife. It’s Larry Craig soliciting sex with men in public restrooms, all the while he stands with his wife and says he’s not gay. It’s Bill Clinton abusing interns, and it’s every man in power buying high priced “call girls” on Wall Street. Elliot Spitzer, well in his mind, he made “a mistake” but it didn’t affect his “work.”

    What did women do when they became heads of the SEC? One thing was they said they would fire any employee who looked at Internet porn while on the job. It was quoted in TIME. Clean up Wall Street? Hire women and put them in charge. End porn and prostition– how about arresting all the Johns, and shooting men in the head if they get caught with porn. That’s right, men get the death penalty for all “sex” offenses.

  4. Sex positive fems seem to just want to be able to have sex within the dominant paradigm without slut-shame. But slut shame isn’t sex-negativism, it’s female-sexual-assertive-negativism.

    Feminism isn’t about sex (or, mandatory PIV). It’s about freedom. For sex-pos fems to equate freedom, or women’s rights, with sex, is for them to just equate women with sex all over again. How status quo.

    Nina Harley drives me nuts, and we have sooo much sex-positivism here in the SF Bay, where it used to really be about women’s rights. Barf.

  5. It’s great to know I’m not the only one wondering if sex-postives live under a rock. “Sex-negative” is a bunch of crap, as FCM says.

    @berryblade Ah yes, the classic “you’re just as bad as teh menz!!11” I have no idea where they get this shit. It’s not like we go around forcing chastity belts on people, like how dudes force sex onto us. (tho doing that to dudes doesn’t sound so bad) I’ll never forget a feministing post where a girl said she hadn’t had sex yet (becasue she MUST have it someday) because she felt it was a really emotional act that made you vulnerable and she hadn’t met anyone she wanted to share that with yet. Authors response? That’d not a good reason not to have sex; she’s probably repressed or something because she’s waiting for emotional reasons.

    And thank you for the complement. 😀 Feel free to quote shit as much as you’d like.

    @SheilaG “PIV evangelism” made me lol so hard, because it’s so true. Every comment of yours is so epic.

    @Sonia YES to what you say about slut-shaming and equating women with sex. They do that especially with prostitutes. And Nina Hartley. Omfg don’t get me started on her. I actually have a post (or two) about her and her work in the making, along with the other big-name “sex-positive” feminists. My college (which is supposed to be a radical environment, right?) is infected with the sex-positive stuff too. From what I’ve heard it seems to be everywhere. I don’t think I really feel the loss that older feminists do, since sex-poz is what I’ve grown up with and all I’ve known. I can’t imagine what it’s like to see things go so downhill.

  6. Yeah, it’s pretty painful to see how far downhill women really went, compared to my feminist experiences of the 70s and 80s, that were so positive, transformative and radical.
    There were so many benefits from feminism that I gained as a young woman. Mentors who took me seriously, women who helped me get up and running in business, a huge lesbian community that was radical, vibrant and pretty drug free.

    We had newsletters, meetings, jobs, marches, brilliant theorists who spoke to ordinary folks.
    Now we’ve got this sex poz nonsense, and the exploitation of women, and we have young women totally buying into all of it. They actually hate us older generation lesbian feminists, or simply don’t get what we are about.

    One young woman over the weekend told me about her arrest for dealing drugs (pot) in high school. She asked me if I ever smoked pot, and I said I had never done illegal drugs of any kind, I was busy studying in the library and preparing to be an adult in high school. I try to be open minded, and tell young women, “hey, I don’t do that stuff it’s not right for me,” without judging them, but when I see how wasted their lives already are at age 24-25, its very painful.

    I always hated men and boys, found them repulive, and pretty much am a separatist in many ways. I see working with men as a waste of time, unless you are stuck in a work situation. But believe me, women have far more choice in who they will associate with.

    Young women waltz around in really high heels, are obsessed with fashion, and it’s sad to watch, because once upon a time, feminism really had the entire fashion industry on the ropes… the more radical we became, the more the men gave in. Patriarchy is smart, however, it will give as much as women push. So then the next generation of women gets conned, and back they go into male pleasing mode, yet again, generation after generation…
    men erasing every knowledge of feminist gain, young women never even bothering to google search the movement documents.

  7. I honestly don’t know how any so-called ‘feminist’ can actually think it’s liberating to embrace patriarchy so much as actually buying in to such woman hating propaganda as pornography, burlesque and every other ‘fun feminist’ pile of crap. Great post.

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