The sex-positive rallying cry, at its most basic, is that our culture is profoundly sex-negative. The evidence? Abstinence education, the slut shaming of women, and overly religious values. If you look at only these things, it becomes easy to prove and condemn the “sex negative” attitude of our culture, and outline the harms it does: increased amounts of unwanted pregnancy, the spread of STDs, the crushing of young women’s reputation and self-esteem. But you know what else causes those things? Rape and sexual harassment. Mandatory intercourse. Unsafe intercourse. Pornography and the sexualization of young girls. The fashion and beauty industeries. Yet somehow, these are all ignored so that “sex-positives” can cry about abstinence education, despite the fact that STDs cannot be directly caused by ignorance–they are caused by intercourse and especially intercourse without a condom (which is demanded of most females). The idea that education will solve this problems is laughable, just as the idea that education will stop men from raping is. Men want to rape and men like dangerous fucks.
While related, that was a tangent on a single problem with the “sex-positive” approach. Lets look at the evidence in our culture and see how “sex negative” most things are. The simple act of looking at a magazine rack, however, will prove the situation is more complex than it seems. Maxim. Playboy. Cosmo. Celebrity magazines. What do all of these focus on? Looking at and talking about women men would like to fuck, becoming the women men want to fuck, how to fuck (for women), how to get a woman to fuck (for men), who’s fucking who, what to wear when you fuck, when to fuck, how often to fuck to not be a prude but not be a slut (for women), and so on and so forth. You could not honestly tell me that sexuality is taboo in America. It would be just as ridiculous as saying rape is taboo, that racist jokes are taboo, or that drinking is taboo. Whenever someone says that our culture is anti-sex, I laugh. In their face.
Is it publically condemned? Of course it is, but again, only in certain ways. I remember D.A.R.E. and the other stupid shit attempting to keep us out of drugs. Yet, somehow, people do drugs anyway. Tobacco and alcohol, along with illegal drugs, are widely consumed and glamorized. To think that official programs advocating abstinence makes our culture sex-negative is just as ridiculous as saying the US is anti-alcohol and anti-drug. As always, it’s only anti-badthings in the case that the nonwhite, nonrich, nonmen use them for their own benefit and pleasure. Its ok for a woman to have sex, so long as its for a man and under his conditions, whether those are marriage, kinks, or anal. Just as with drugs, sex is a billion dollar industry with a lobby. The only difference is that the advertising for the sex industry (porn) is also one of its products, making it self-perpetuating.
Maintaining the belief that America is sex-negative, however, is vital for “sex-positives” to have a point. It obscures the real power and the real system, under which hetero sex is mandatory, enjoyable or not; women’s submission is mandatory, willing or not. The politicians who condemn prostitution use and abuse escorts; the anti-gay crusaders have sex with men; the Church which condemns lust while molesting children and protecting their rapists. Does that sound “anti-sex” or “prudish” to you? To believe the words that come out of men’s mouths-that they are against “sexual liberation” as its taken place- is ridiculously fucking stupid. Our culture is not anti-sex: it’s pro-fucking, pro-rape, and pro-misogyny. “Feminist” porn is still status quo, lesbian porn is male-centered, and lesbian BDSM is even more so. Our culture is only “prudish” about sex outside of how males conceive it. That is, without domination and submission, without hate, without intercourse or penetration, with emotion and mutual desire.