I swear. Most of the “sex worker” activists I have met constantly talk about how we shouldn’t “demonize” the johns, because they’re usually married/partnered*, etc, and they are simply seeking understanding for a sexual act that their steady partner cannot or will not provide. Men aren’t just looking to “bust a nut,” they’re seeking the love and understanding every human wants. Or that some people are just “incapable” of relationships with the opposite sex. And they’re normal men just like your coworkers and friends. So they need an outlet.
If I don’t have, or can’t have a relationship, I don’t feel like I should have the right to exchange money for sex. I don’t. Especially since there would be no way for me to know if they had “chosen” sex work, or had only chosen it from a range of other shitty options (minimum wage jobs, etc, etc). Essentially, no one has the right to buy sex or sexual acts-we know that a great amount of abuse exists in this industry, and anyone who risks the chance of raping someone so that they can “get some” is sick. No one has the right to sex, period.
However pitiful some women are, however lonely they feel, I don’t see them thinking they have a right to sex. Women want love and understanding just as everyone does, but we never get it. Yet somehow, we don’t use prostitutes. Women, FOR SOME REASON, generally don’t purchase sex; women represent sex, thus they are usually sellers. Why are the roles in prostitution so gendered? Who has the resources and the money? Men. Who has the prestige? Men. Who has the power? Men. Who represents sex? Women. Most men believe they are entitled to sex, and as a result they make up most rapists and most johns. Women are not raised to think of themselves as “entitled” to sex- sex is something women give and men take.
Wanting love and understanding does not make johns understandable or sympathetic, unless you’re the type who “understands” MRAs. Yeah, they’re human, but so are rapists. Wanting love and understanding means get a goddamn therapist, or failing that, talk to people. Hell, you could even just talk to the prostitute, and not fuck her. It does not mean you should fuck women. The fact that people say johns are just seeking understanding and love is disgusting. If they were, they wouldn’t have the sex, they wouldn’t need it, they wouldn’t demand it, and they wouldn’t be violent, they wouldn’t ask for unprotected sex.
These men aren’t seeking understanding: they are seeking the image of it. A woman, nurturing like a mother, but also a whore, who will nurture the man through whatever sick fetish he’s developed. A yes-woman, who will agree that his wife is a bitch, frigid, stupid, whatever. Consequently, the image for a “sex worker” is that of a college-educated middle class white woman (preferably aryan) who drops every career opportunity and hobby to fuck men for money. Her image is no different from that of “good mom,” who leaves her potential career behind “by choice,” because she wuves her kids so much and wishes them to have the best.
But, here are a few large differences: children have a need for someone to care for them, men, on the other hand, and specifically johns, have jobs and the full development necessary to take care of themselves. No one needs to take care of grown men. However much they seem or act as helpless as babies, they aren’t. It’s an act.
This whole outlet thing is the same bullshit that says men’s sex drives are natural and unstoppable; therefore they have a right to an outlet. God forbid we raise men to NOT feel entitled to sex, so that they will not rape or purchase “sex.”
No one has ever died from lack of sex. Ever.
So can it about men’s sexual and emotional “needs.” Women’s right to not be raped and used sexually is more important than some douchebag’s orgasm.
*So are most child molesters, rapists and serial killers. I doubt this is a coincidence.